They could not give me much materially as they were born into poverty in the US. They tried to love us kids, to support us, to give us the best, but it fell apart. They lived in their tragic expression of unmet needs. They reached out for help, they negotiated many shadows. They were not supported by the system of the day. They tried but failed. They died in poverty. They left me angry and afraid. (Negotiating Shadows)
I went on to become a mom and could not give my child the ideal but did raise above what my mom and dad could do. In spite of having a better marriage, economic base, a better education, more choices for better chances, there were still deep problems and my family fell apart---as many things that are mandated to change do. Transition is not for the faint of heart. It takes alot of courage to be a human in this world.
Transformation is a choice however. When I made a transition from the Spirit World to become a fetus in my mothers womb to the birth onto planet Earth that was all a process that just was. I had no choice (that I know of) and so it was.
But, after discovering I was a human being facing all sorts of scenarios, being offered some chances to make choices, growing from a helpless child to a woman I was challenged to seek better ways of being, to find ways to feel better about my life, to walk away from my shadows of fear and lack. Many of the choices I made that were not good due to lack of education, lack of resources, lack of spirit, of health, etc. were opportunities to do better.Over time being a negative person brought more chances for better choices through the process of transformation. Accepting spiritual growth made me a better human. It is an ongoing process. It is hard to negotiate the many shadows of life but it is possible. It is necessary to honor the many transitions and transformations yet to come as the soul passes from stage to stage.
